Power

The source of all church power, from popes to pastors, from mother superiors to novices, from lay ministers to people in the pews, is, we know, the Holy Spirit. And church power is always, at heart, pastoral power. It’s power given for the care and flourishing of God’s people. Church power, in all its forms, is meant to hold us in harmony with God’s unseen order. It isn’t wilful; it isn’t controlling. It is slow to condemn and slow to excommunicate. Rather, it’s meant to hold us in God’s mercy. It’s meant to hold us in Christ’s arms where we experience the healing touch and feel the breath of the divine. That’s the heart of the church’s power – to gather and to hold to tell again and again the story of God’s fidelity, to break the bread and share the cup.  Donald Cozzens

I read this and immediately apply it to my call as a deacon. This is the heart of my ministry and the reason for my call. I might add the thought of how this power, gifted to the church by the Holy Spirit, is a power to reach out and touch all God’s children and all of creation; that pastoral power extends out to all whether in or out of the church. The Gospel reading this week was John 4 where Jesus passes through Samaria and reaches out with grace to a Samaritan woman staying two days and touching many. This is my call as a deacon and our call as the church.

 

Proper 21 - Money

Terry D. and I were talking a few weeks ago about an article that we read in the Times or the Wall street journal about a guy who claims that the bible holds keys to investing… if we learn them and put them into practice we can become wealthy investing in the stock market. I guess he’s made millions because he knows these “keys”. Clearly this guy isn’t familiar with today’s readings… the article didn’t list the “keys” to investing that made this man millions of dollars… nor the title of the books he sells or his booking agent for the seminars that he’ll offer us.

 
But money itself isn’t evil… right? It’s necessary in this life… or seems to be.  It would be nice if it wasn’t such a worry though wouldn’t it? It would be nice if we all had enough and some left over. The basic American dream of financial security for now and the future is less and less a reality for many. Many of my neighbors are chasing bills not dreams. Many of my neighbors are a health crisis… or a broken down car… or a fridge that just stopped working away from more debt, debt that eats more of their paycheck… which means less for groceries, let alone less for the future. In Mower County the poverty rate is 18%, the percentage of children in our public schools on free and reduced lunch is around 50%. There’s plenty to worry about when it comes to money.

We live in a world of those who have and those who don’t. Unfortunately the gap between the two is growing. Acquisition of wealth is left to a smaller and smaller number of people. Truly, issues of economic justice are near the heart of God and today’s readings reflect that. Money… as in the acquisition of wealth… is wrapped up in the power systems of the planet… and many millions… probably billions… suffer injustice on that account. The voices speaking about money are varied. The voice that concerns me is the voice that talks loudly about the status that comes with wealth, the voice that says the more you have the better you are, the more you have the closer you are to God, the more you have the more power you have. These voices claim that personal affirmation, personal vindication, personal happiness and satisfaction are found only by size of your paycheck, your savings account, the size of your house, the beauty of your possessions, your stock portfolio, the car you drive, the cloths you wear, the food you eat, and on and on… This voice devalues people. God doesn’t devalue people. These are not the voices of God.

 
Of course people with wealth are not evil simply because they make tons of money. I think on this point the scripture is clear. The sin comes through attitude, choices, through a life lived. And so I think about the guy from the article I read. The one who makes millions in the market by applying God’s “hidden secrets of accumulating great wealth”… I don’t know how he lives. Maybe he gives much of his earnings away to feed the hungry and cloth the naked. Maybe he’s informed by these scriptures and is aware of the great needs in his community and in the world.  Maybe he cares more for those around him than he does his own personal comfort and status.

Today these scriptures speak to me about contentment… about a life lived in pursuit of simple and deeply spiritual practices. They are about putting money into proper perspective. These scriptures are about recognizing where I go wrong and coming back around to the right path… A path that leads me to the center of the mystery, which is God, who dwells where no one has seen or can see… These scriptures are the voice of God speaking from the unapproachable light, a voice which consistently calls me to seek contentment in a life given more and more to the good confession, of becoming rich in good works and generosity, to pursue “righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness”. Money is of little account in the pursuit of this calling.

A Working Deacon

I am now a deacon at Christ Church, Austin and at Christ Church, Albert Lea. This did not come as a shock to me. I had been wondering about it for months if not for the past year. I love Christ Church, Austin having spent the last ten years significantly involved in all aspects of parish life here… and discerning my call here as well, but Albert Lea has been in my prayers for some time. Albert Lea and Austin are similar in size and culture. Both towns grew up through the early part of the last century, both became packing towns, both went through decline and both have seen a significant change in demographics over the last 30 years. Albert Lea and Austin have enjoyed a healthy rivalry in the past but not a healthy kinship. They are sister towns that avoided any real or meaningful friendly connection. I’m guessing that it was the fact that rival companies drove the economies of the two towns.

I was excited when I heard the news. Others were not. I consider this assignment a charge of trust by my Bishop but others see it as a slap in the face. I am not feeling real good about that and have been on the receiving end of some vitriol, as if somehow I politicked to make this happen. Albert Lea has made it very clear that they are excited to have me serve as deacon in any capacity that I can. The Priest-in-Charge and senior warden were very gracious at our initial meeting. My assignment to Christ Church, Austin is a cause for celebration and joy as well but I’m afraid that will be overshadowed by the thought that they’ll have to share me. It’ll take time for the dust to settle.

To Dismiss or not to Dismiss

My first real “issue” as a deacon at Christ Church has taken place. Only four weeks into my diakonate. I’ve been proclaiming the dismissal for quite a number of weeks now and as we are in Pentecost I am not adding the “Alleluias”. The first few weeks it was as if the congregation was confused. They’ve grown accustomed to hearing the “Alleluias” at all times but during Lent I think. My attempt to get back in keeping with The Book confused everyone with laughs and giggles. The third Sunday I heard someone say, “Hey, what about the Alleluias?” I’ve been spreading the word that I’m not adding them because I’m following the “rubrics”... just doing what the BCP outlines. No big deal. We all laughed but I stayed the course. Last Sunday went better. People are getting it. Then the priest and I got together to “fine tune”.

She brought up the Dismissal. She mentioned the pause and thought it was too long. She then brought up the “Alleluias”. I told her I was following the rubrics. She started out by saying that it was my call... we talked back and forth about how people were confused and waiting for the Alleluias. I felt it was pretty clear that she wanted me to add the Alleluias. I told her that it was her call. She said she wanted consistency. I told her if she wanted me to add the Alleluias I would ... that I didn’t care (isn’t true... I actually do care a lot and think this is an opportunity to teach the BCP and our traditions). I don’t want to rock the boat.

The thing that is really bothering me is that the priest wants me to add the Alleluias but at the beginning of the dismissal. For instance, “Alleluia, Alleluia, go in peace to love and serve the Lord”. I have never heard it said this way. I asked her if she were sure. She said yes. I told her that I had never heard it said that way. She told me that this is the way it always is done.

I am wracking my brain to remember ever hearing the dismissal spoken this way... and a little sad about missing out on an opportunity for teaching... I think I may appear to be a complete fool saying the dismissal this way and confuse everyone while doing it... and wondering if this is my future as a deacon, to be more or less "told" how to do it and when to do it when I feel I know how to do it and when to do it. 

I am a servant.

"Above all the grace and the gifts that Christ gives to his beloved is that of overcoming self".

                                                                Saint Francis

Sunday 2 as Deacon

Two Sundays a Deacon. 

I wear the collar on Sundays and of course, the stole over my alb. This is really new. I think I am different. I feel the role in any case. I don't feel more powerful or more holy, or even more spiritual though I do feel a new motivation perhaps... maybe a new and deeper sense of my calling. My footing is firmer... I definitely feel that my feet belong on this path.

I am caught up in a greater story. As a layperson I felt that same sense of wonder but this is a bit different and so have been deconstructing that feeling. Why should I feel different? Why should I think differently? Surely we are on even footing... that is, there is no separation between clergy and laity... we share the same calling... we are called to be saints together... called to be priests together... called to service (diakonia) together. So my ordination is a lateral calling. I stand beside my fellow christians.

Hermitage of St. John of the Desert

On a different note altogether... The morning after my ordination I awoke with some heartburn. I rolled around in bed trying to find some relief but it persisted. I finally got up at about 4:00 or so to walk around to see if that would help and realized quickly that it was getting worse. I woke J up and told her that she would need to bring me in to emergency. We also awoke our sister in law and asked if she could drive us in as we were staying with her (my brother was in the BWCA). In any case it had gotten pretty severe by this time and so we felt we should call 911! Pain lessened by the time paramedics got there and then we drove in to the emergency room. Gall bladder attack! I thought I was having a heart attack and that this might be it. Many thoughts ran through my mind as I was curled up on the floor waiting for the paramedics. I was probably scared but I was surely disappointed. Ordained in the evening and dead in the morning definitely went through my head... but mostly was just disappointed that I might go this way... on my brother's floor with my wife and sister-in-law pretty nervous and worried... and my girls all sleeping obliviously in rooms around the house. I felt pretty helpless... and shocked that I might go without a chance to say my goodbyes etc... It really made me think of how people face death. Some may get the chance to go peacefully, surrounded by loved ones, saying their goodbyes but others leave in great pain and shock, curled up on a floor with no chance at last minute words of love. Pretty sobering. I have surgery this month. 

Deacon

It's been too long since I posted.
I was ordained Deacon on June 27, 2013.
Now, two days after the event, I am trying to take it in. J says I am different. I would agree.
The journey to ordination was relatively smooth. The hardest part of this journey was discernment. How clearly do I hear the call that I only sense? My struggle with this question was intense early on. Clarity came gradually... as moments where the clouds would break up and the blues sky and bright sun shown through.
After I became settled in my sense of calling all the rest was just a walk in the same direction more or less. I only had to keep on to reach this point.
Ordination seemed to come in a rush.
It was a wonderful event.
It was a moving event.
So here I am.

Mary Anoints Jesus

My second "sermon" at Christ Church. Crafting the homily is a challenge. Always looking at the words. Is this what I want to say? Is this how I want to say it? This one was more difficult and I was more careful about what I was saying. I find this very difficult but fulfilling. Preaching though is not about quiet study and analytical thinking... it's not about contemplation and personal reflection.  

Delivery of the words and ideas is much more difficult for me. I didn't move away from the text much at all... in this regard I am woefully unskilled. I look up and am at a loss for words... I don't want to move away from the words on the paper in front of me. I guess this is a weakness that I need to overcome. It's a bit disheartening.

Isaiah 43 and today’s Psalm read like two sides of the same coin. Isaiah speaks to a people in exile, a people in captivity… removed from all they dream of and hope for... they couldn’t see God… But God sees them. “Do you remember how good you had it?” God says. “Well… forget about it… because I am doing a new thing!”

The Psalm is a song of thanksgiving for this promise spoken in Isaiah. I love the imagery of this psalm where it states, “…then were we like those who dream”… when a great and wonderful thing happens it’s like a dream… like it just can’t be real… This is what Isaiah refers to… something so great that it’s like a dream come true and Isaiah could just as easily be speaking to us, for in so many ways we live in a world of exile... where we sometimes experience the wilderness… and in the wilderness our hopes and dreams aren’t realized.

God’s new thing is about release, homecoming, and making the dry places bloom; it is so good it’s like living in the best of dreams.

There’s a person I run into nearly every day in one of the elementary buildings I teach in. He’s a good natured guy and a hard worker. We usually greet each other with, “how’s it going?” and when I get to it first he almost always says, “I’m living the dream.” I laugh every time he says that. I guess I’m easily amused because after a hundred times or so I still laugh. It’s funny… it’s a satirical commentary about work and career and so on. The point is that he isn’t really living the “dream”… the “dream” is just a fantasy… and I get that. The “dream job”, the “dream house”, the “dream car”, and dreams like this can offer us happiness… but it’s fleeting… eventually those dreams simply fade away. We chase dreams… and some dreams are worth pursuing… we should chase our dreams…. but I think we all understand that if we believe that lasting happiness or self-worth or real security is tied to a job or a home or a place or an accomplishment… we’ve been fooled. The narrative of the scripture is consistent on this score. But it’s also consistent in offering us this idea of a “new thing”… a better dream.

Paul speaks to us of “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead”. Last week we heard this from Paul, “If anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see. everything has become new! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ.” The two ideas work together and they echo the passages we read today. Paul was among other things a focused human being…. Before his conversion on the road to Damascus he put great stock in his learning, his zeal, his accomplishments… his heritage… and his position. He was living “the dream”… the dream as he knew it. We read today that he left it all behind… threw it away even, because his eyes had been opened to this new thing that God had begun.

I’m going to tie this in with today’s Gospel passage because I think Mary was a woman who did not consider what lay behind. She understood what was to come.

Mary was the sister to Martha, and the brother of Lazarus. These three had a unique and special relationship with the Jesus. We know very little of this really. We know that Jesus at least on two occasions shared a meal with them at their house. They seemed to know Jesus. Maybe they were related. Maybe they were old family friends. We don’t know… but they occupy a special place in the Gospel narrative and in the tradition of the church.

Mary pouring costly perfume upon Jesus’ feet was a prophetic act, an act of faith and devotion. It was pure… it was lovely… it was touching. We’ve seen Mary before… where she took a place at the feet of Jesus while her sister worked and fretted, we saw her weeping but believing with Jesus at her brother’s tomb, and here we see her anointing Jesus for burial. She was misunderstood and criticized by her sister and the disciples but not by Jesus… who came to her defense. In this passage we see that she brought out this very expensive perfume in the middle of dinner (or after, I suppose) and poured it on Jesus’ feet. The amount, 300 denarii must have been shocking (I read that it was approximately a year’s salary for a common laborer) but more shocking I think was Mary letting down and wiping the Lord’s feet with her hair. This is something that just wasn’t done… under any circumstance. The level of this kind of devotion was just too intimate and personal. We can imagine the awkwardness that filled the room.

This wasn’t the only thing that filled the room though. It was also filled with the fragrance of the perfume. This sentence reads like a memory of someone who had been there and was reliving the evening and what Mary had done. I think it was also included because there was something wonderful that had taken place and maybe in that awkward space of a few moments… they all felt what Mary felt… they all saw what Mary saw… just before Brother Judas broke the spell.

Mary was a quiet martyr of the glory of Christ. She understood more than anyone who was with Jesus in those days what was to come and what it would mean. Her eyes were wide open… she was awake to a dream of God’s promise.

Most of the time, seeing God is a struggle… and at times a virtual impossibility. The nature of life, its ordinariness, its cares, and sometimes its pain, makes it difficult to see God. Maybe our chasing after some of the dreams life offers gets in the way as well. Seeing God is a gift. Seeing God is having our eyes opened to see what cannot be seen and understand what cannot be understood. Like Mary, and Paul, and Isaiah and Patrick… when we see God… when we really understand… it changes everything.

Mary’s act of anointing Jesus for burial was an act of costly self-sacrifice and of resignation… but also one of tender love and great hope. Mary believe what the Rabbi had revealed to his disciples even when they could not… that he would go to Jerusalem, be killed and buried. Did she also believe that he would rise from the dead? I think she understood clearly the risk in believing this. I think she believed that God was doing a new thing… and that Jesus was the one through whom the new thing would come… through death and resurrection. This is the message that the church has proclaimed in the world since… a message we proclaim every Sunday at Holy Eucharist… and now during Lent… working our way towards Easter… That in this life, where there seems to be so much hopelessness, there is great and living hope, where lack of faith is altogether too common, there are acts of extravagant self-sacrifice that scandalize and shame the temporary dreams presented by this world, and that in this cruel and cold culture… if we, like Paul, find a way to open our eyes to God… and lose everything to gain Christ, we will say “then were we like those who dream. Then were our mouths filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy.”